You know what you need? You need a yellow crystal duck with a USB flash drive built into it. Don't agree? Well let me tell you something -- this duck can hold up to 128 MB of data, glows in the dark, and at about $75 is probably less expensive than a live duck, and the live one would do a lot more going to the bathroom on your carpet and a lot less storing important files.
And if anyone out there is willing to pay $25 for it, I'll be happy to share with you how this product resurrected my sex life.